Stargirl: Our True Selves

Throw reputation out the window

Who cares what other people think…right?

Be Jesus in the sea of Pharisees

In a sense become a rebel to your peers in order to become your true self.

I can’t tell you how many times I felt like doing something unbelievably outrageous in terms of my day-to-day life.  (Like dancing in the grocery store or standing up on the lunch table at school and breaking out into song!) But I always have a nickel-sized part of me that fears what the reaction of the people around me would be. Also after living on this earth for 21 years I know from experience that these actions are not “normal” or frequent occurrences.

 In Jerry Spinelli’s book the main character Stargirl is quirky, extremely lovable & completely oblivious to what people think of her. To me she has the spunk of Barbra Streisand and the cuteness of Debbie Reynolds in Singin’ in the Rain. In the book she does outstanding and personal acts of kindness toward her classmates who she just met after transferring schools.

Let me paint you a Stargirl…

-She sings happy birthday to kids at lunch with her ukulele, pet rat & sunflower canvas bag in tow

-Wears no make-up

-Randomly bakes cookies for her homeroom class

-Cheers for the opposing team at basketball games

& gives a friendly hello to complete strangers.

She sounds too good to be true, a teenage girl serenading her classmates with harmonies and a pet rat named Cinnamon in her pocket.

What in the world? I wish this girl actually existed!

After thinking about Stargirl and discovering the essence of who she really is, I couldn’t help but wonder about that nickel-sized timid-ness that stops me from belting into song in the dining hall.

In Brennan Manning’s book “Abba’s Child”, he writes about a person we know all too well…the imposter. Now who is the imposter? It is someone who takes over our true selves. The imposter masks over our real values… the essence of who we are in Christ. The imposter forces us to neglect the essential when it comes to a life filled with Jesus.

“We hide what we know or feel ourselves to be (which we assume to be unacceptable and unlovable) behind some kind of appearance which we hope will be more pleasing.” 

–Simon Tugwell (Abba’s Child)

Stargirl never thought about what was socially acceptable; she simply experienced life without waiting for approval from anyone. She reminds me of a certain someone who neglects human tradition and truthfully lived a life honoring our God.

 “You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.”

 –John 5:39-40

See Jesus did not care about His reputation or being accepted by the Pharisees. He cared about His people and pleasing His Father (Our most powerful God). Now I cannot compare Stargirl to Jesus Christ, but I believe her character can at least teach me and others on how to care less about human approval and more about living in our true selves.

In the beginning of the book Stargirl never pretends to be like anyone else except for herself. She has confidence in her identity. So if Stargirl felt like dancing in the rain or prancing on the football field with an invisible flute next to the school band on Friday nights… well she did it! Blending into the crowd was not the biggest priority in her mind.

I thought about how delightfully different my life would be if I lived in my true self and abandoned the imposter. The imposter in me cares about my performance in the Christian community over my belovedness in Jesus Christ. If I lived each day embracing the fact that I am a child of God and gave no attention to how people in the Church viewed me, I would inhabit my true self.

I’ve spent so much time and energy trying to come off as a “good Christian” to others that in the midst of trying to impress sinners like me I ended up feeling more like I was playing the role of Christian than actually being a follower of my savior.

I’m done wasting my life away pretending. It is exhausting and it’s a fight that I will never win. Impressing people and playing the “good Christian” role is not fulfilling and why would I spend all my energy trying to look a certain way instead of actually living that way.

“And in the presence, you will delight in the discovery of what it means to live by grace and not by performance”. –Brennan Manning