Wintergirls: Backstory

Why do people suffer from eating disorders?

There are many different reasons why girls and sometimes-even boys develop eating disorders. There is no set formula. The initial intention when starting to change the way you eat could be to simply GET SKINNY

 finally like what you see in the mirror 

or to look a certain way in clothes. 

But anyone who has gone through an eating disorder knows that the original intention develops into something way more dangerous.

Here's the thing about eating disorders... you don't realize you have one! Especially in the mist of it.

I full heartedly believe that eating disorders are physiological and it is one of the Devil’s ways of separating us from Jesus.

 The reason for anorexia sometimes stems back to insecurities, lack of self-confidence, peer pressure or a way to cope with other trials in life.

I am by no means an expert on anorexia or bulimia, but I want to at least help people understand the disease and know that even in a dark place Jesus is still present.

Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson did a splendid job of viewing eating disorders from a teenage girl’s perspective. In the book Lia’s best friend Cassie dies due to her battle with bulimia. Cassie’s death causes Lia to second guess her anorexia and cutting. The book covers Lia’s daily struggles when it comes to her family, eating and grieving the loss of her best friend.

To understand Lia’s disease we have to start at the beginning…

Cassie was the first one to develop an eating disorder. One summer when they were 11 Cassie came back from drama camp, the girls at camp introduced her to bulimia. From then on Cassie battled with bulimia until her death. Lia followed Cassie soon after she hit puberty and her body began to change. Lia turned to anorexia after losing her ballet solo due to her weight.

Normally eating disorders are blamed on media. For instance, TV shows, actresses and models usually portray this skeleton-like ensemble, which tells girls “this is what is considered beautiful”. Now this is true, media does have an influence on young girls… but that’s not the only source to blame. Peers influence each other more than anything just like with smoking and drugs. Parents need to be aware of the possible demons that their kids might encounter. In Lia’s case her parents never taught her that eating healthy and exercising was the BEST way to have a healthy lifestyle. By the time her parents realized that her eating habits were dangerous to her well being she was already knee deep in the anorexia lifestyle.

At this point in the post you might be thinking…how in the world is Jesus found in the mist of eating disorders?!? 

Think about this…

When you’re in a movie theater and the lights go out before the movie starts. It’s pretty dark in there and for a couple of seconds you can’t see anything. When all of a sudden a light from the seventh row emerges! And what do you know…it’s an iphone!

Now it doesn’t matter where you are in the theater, near or far. The light immediately grabs your attention because it is surrounded by darkness. 

I bet y’all are catching on now… Jesus of course is the light in the darkness.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

-John 1:5

When someone goes through an eating disorder there is so much darkness and gloominess. 

There’s no life

 no bright colors

 & you feel solemn and grey underneath your seemingly skinny exterior.

In my senior year of high school I developed an eating disorder but I didn’t realize exactly what I had gone through until October of my freshman year in college. Initially it started because I wanted to get skinnier so I became more cautious about what I ate. 

Then the struggles of high school began to weigh heavy.

My boyfriend and I broke up and the stress & drama of being on a team of over 20 girls took its toll on me. So as time went by I ate less and less. Eventually all I would eat was a handful of almonds each day along with working out about 5 hours a day for practice.

My view on food changed and I felt like my whole life revolved around my eating schedule… Which was nothing! Something that Lia says through out the book perfectly describes my state of mind,     “empty is strong”.

I saw food as a weakness and felt numb when I ate food. So the only time I felt “alive” was when I was hungry. This is such a dark and dangerous place to be! I can only thank Jesus for healing me through friendships, the Holy Spirit and physically removing me from my original surroundings. My experience with an eating disorder was very mild compared to many other girls who have dealt with anorexia and the characters in the book. But I thought it was important to share my story and show that Jesus worked in my life despite Satan's efforts to drag me down.

Wintergirls: to be continued…